HOLLA

Hi to anyone who still reads this dying blog. I finally found a time to update this blog! Im not trying to act like miss busy, but I really am so incredibly busy. It's only the third week of school and we are already having midterms and tests. I never slept before 3am this week. In fact, I actually pulled an all nighter (ok fine 1 hour of sleep) on Monday. Wednesday night, I fell asleep with Iliad on my face and chewing gum in my mouth. Everyone should try reading the Iliad, it's the most powerful sleeping pill everZ.

School and pledging for my sorority has taken up like ...99% of my life. Sometimes, thoughts of depledging do cross my mind. I really dont want my social life to ruin my studies. I have sorority meeting/events/rehersal/random stuff almost every single day and by the time I get down to doing my homework, it's already past midnight. I have already given up partying on school nights, but I'm still not juggling both well enough! So Thursday nights are supposed to be party nights at the row (the street of usc fraterneties/sorority houses), but I spent last night studying at the lounge downstairs. I had so much fun looking at drunk people stumbling all over the lobby and flirting with old security guards...hahaha

Anyway school aside, Ive been feeling homesick occasionally, especially when I feel so damn fucking tired everynight and still have so much things on my to do list. I just want everything to slow down like how it was before school started. I really miss lazing around in Singapore..spending everyday doing yoga and hanging out at orchard and holland V. I miss having so much free time on my hand and watching tv series for hours in front of the comp ( Btw,I havent watched tv for a month now).. Omg I just miss being able to breathe without having a single thing on my mind.. (ok fine that almost never happen) but yeah you got my point. I just feel so tied down with so many things right now and all I want is just a B.R.E.AK.

And back to school, I feel like Im always lagging behind somehow. Im soo used to always being behind in homeworks back in singapore coz nobody ever grade or care about homework. Im so used to not giving a damn about my grades until exams comes. But here, every single thing matter and it's killing me how I have to have to put in effort to do my homework! IT'S SO EXHAUSTING TO CARE. And it feels like JC all over again coz unlike everyone else, all my day starts at 9am with the exception of 8am on Tuesday. Whatever happen to ......late class and off days, that's never gonna happen for chemical engineering. Maths and chemistry are far more difficult than i thought it will be. And dont even start about programming and GE. Poetry/history is a major pain in the ass, I dont know how anyone in this world can take that as a major. I guess Im just underestimating everything outside of singapore. I thought JC would be the toughest phase of life I would ever have to go through and everything after or before that would just pale in comparison, but apparently I was wrong.

Ok this is such a long post. i just wanna say I really miss singapore :( I really miss everybody there... and I really miss orchard road and holland V. I miss my sisters, I miss my parents, I miss my friends. I miss ness I miss Tiff I miss wenxi I miss Jess I miss olie I miss suemaine I miss my classmates I miss ridgewood and I just miss singapore soooo badly. Im having a lot of fun and enjoying myself here, but there were times when I just wanna be home, when I just want to be free from everything. There were nights I get teary when I think about how much I really wanna be home sweet home, but it's still a year away :'(

Ok Im gonna take it slow this weekend. Sleep before 2am, no alcohol, no parties, reply everyone's emails, clean up my room, do some exercise. Im getting really tired of nursing drunkards (and myself occassionaly) every weekend, so im going to be an anti social this wkend haha. Byez

I just wanna be where you are,
and I dont need to be where the crowd is at
and I dont want temporary highs
and I dont need screaming and laughters to make me happy.
I just wanna be where you are,
where all I think about is right here and now
where tomorrow doesnt ever cross my mind
where it's silent and peaceful but I dont feel lonely
where I can be ugly and yet feel pretty
where I feel so light I can fly.
I just wanna be where you are,
I just wanna be home.

Now there's a million reasons for you to go,
but if you can find a reason to stay,
I'll do whatever it takes to turn this around